Chapter Thirteen - Love Encountered

 Thirteen

LOVE ENCOUNTER

Sharp Parsonage

That Same Night

It was an uncharacteristically quiet night in Paine Harbor, yet Reverend Sharp simply couldn't fall asleep. Lying in bed, his mind racing like a thoroughbred horse, he tossed and turned for hours. Somewhere around one o'clock he finally gave up trying to sleep. Arising from bed he put on his robe and slippers and quietly went to his private study. He sat behind his massive mahogany desk hoping to find some peace and picked up a leather bound copy of a biography of John Calvin and tried to read. Struggling to concentrate, he found himself rereading the same paragraph over and over as his mind refused to interpret what was printed on the page.

Frustrated and tired he stood up and walked to the French doors.  Opening them he hoped the fresh salt air would clear his mind and help him to get some much needed rest.

As he stood on his porch, he sensed a presence; he called out, “Who’s there?”

The Presence simply said, “I am.”

 “Well, I don’t know who you are, but what are you doing out on the streets at this time of night?”

“Waiting.”

“Waiting? Waiting for what?” he said impatiently.

“Not for what, but for who!”

“Who could you possibly be waiting for in front of my house at one o'clock in the morning?”

“You,” the Presence responded.

“Me?”

“Yep. I have a message for you.”

“A message for me at one o'clock in the morning!” Axel stated somewhat incredulously. “What message could anyone have for me?”

“It’s this: You are loved.”

“Who wants me to know this?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Okay, get out of here,” he said dismissively thinking to himself, “what a nutcase!”

“I can imagine you are thinking I’m a nut, but I'm not,” the Presence said warmly.  “I’m here to make sure you get this message. You are loved by God.” 

“Of course, He loves me. I know that. The Bible tells me so.” Axel said dismissively.

“Love is far greater than a theological idea or doctrine. I want you feel it down deep in your heart where it counts. Do you know just how loved you are Axel Sharp? Do you know it personally, not as a theological construct, but as a biographical present-tense reality? Do you know just how loved you are?” the Presence asked with great intensity.

“Listen, whoever you are,” he said attempting to gain back control and wrap up this odd conversation. “Thank you. You've done your job. I think I'll try to get some sleep now. Good night.”

“It is.”

“It is, what?” he asked with increasing frustration.

“It is a good night. It is a good night to let the love of God move past your brain and into your heart. You, sir are a deeply loved child of God. He loves you and there's is nothing you can do about it. It is who He is. He loves and this only leaves one question.” the Presence said confidently.

“What's that?” said a genuinely irritated Axel. “What's the question?”

“Whether you'll receive His love.”

“I'm a Christian,” Axel replied as if that answered the question.

“Of course you are. But have you received His love where it matters most?” 

“And where might that be?” he asked.

“That place in your heart which is dark, broken and wounded. That's where love belongs because that's where love can give you light, healing and recovery.”

“Thank you. But I think I'll go to bed now,” Axel said.

“Remember, it is a good night.” The Presence said in conclusion as Axel closed the doors – double-checking the locks - and storming back into the warmth of his study.

Axel tried desperately to put these words behind him, but was unable to do so. He sat wordlessly in his study for the longest time. The clock ticked relentlessly, irritating him even further. Fighting off the feelings that were growing deep within him, he found numerous reasons why he should simply dismiss this entire event. “I must have been dreaming.” But as the night wore on, his mind began to ask long buried questions.

“Am I really loved? I mean personally. I know God loves the ‘world’, but does He love me? Is there more to being a Christian than simply doing good things and not doing bad things and going to church? What does the love of God really look like? Do I really matter to God?”

For hours he struggled with these questions, until finally he nodded off to sleep at his desk chair. It was then the dream came to him.

Seeing a man he immediately recognized as Jesus, resplendent with an impossibly brilliant glow, he heard him speak words of mystery. Other people suddenly appeared. As each touched His glowing robe they also took on a degree of His beauty, as if it were somehow rubbing off on them. Axel was unable to hear what Jesus was saying, so he moved in closer. Eventually he was able to move through the throngs of people enabling him to hear what was being said, but he could not understand the words. It was as if the Lord were speaking a language everyone but Axel could grasp.

As he was about to give up and move away, Jesus turned his attention to Axel. He reached out and gently touched Axel’s head with a diamond-encrusted light-reflecting golden sword. Without explanation, Axel understood. Speaking but one word, in a million different ways, different tones and different languages but with a single message. His message transcended simple intellectual understanding and demanded a personal experiential response in order to be received.  In this moment, Axel saw what the others had seen. Axel’s clothing took on the same glow as those around him and his face burned as if it were on fire.

Axel awoke in his chair shouting out the word he’d received: “Loved! Loved! Loved!” Shaking from what had just occurred, the message the Presence had spoken flooded his memory, “God loves you.”

“God, what are you saying to me? What am I missing?” he prayed honestly.

It was then he heard the Voice. For the first time in more years than he could possibly remember, Axel Sharp heard the Voice of the One whom he had studied, researched, preached about and sought to honor through his life. God spoke to Him directly and His message was simple and clear.

“I love you.”

Axel was overwhelmed. He'd hoped this was true and now he knew it was. Deep down in the depths of his soul, he knew. Love filled him in places which religion and self-efforts never could. Axel now knew true love.

As the night wore on, Axel considered the implications of this revelation, and he came to see nothing could ever be the same again. Something completely unexpected had occurred and even in this moment, he knew a shift had occurred which would immediately and forever change his life. After awhile he found himself laughing out loud in his study.  The heaviness that had burdened him for so many years was replaced by the lightness of true freedom. With this freedom came intense joy. He knew he'd been transformed by the power of true love.

Tears flowed down his face. Humbly he said aloud to God, “I didn’t know. I just didn’t know.”